The following article is in Laura’s November e-newsletter for parents. Click here to view the newsletter.  Click here to subscribe to receive Laura’s monthly e-newsletter.

Thirty years ago it was socially frowned upon for a girl to ask a guy out on a date. It was also nearly always the boys putting pressure on the girls to “go all the way.” My, how times have changed! Many young girls today are frantically on the prowl. Once they set their sights on an attractive young man, they move in aggressively, attempting to take charge of the relationship and pouncing on him with sexual advances and pressures.

These days, it’s not uncommon for girls to bombard boys with revealing electronic pictures of themselves. It is equally prevalent for certian girls to put pressure—or even beg— for a boy to be her boyfriend. Furthermore, a national study reveals that nearly one-third of 15 to 17-year-olds, especially boys, said they had experienced pressure to have sex.(1)

So Why the drastic change in females? Simply stated . . .
ONE: The media overwhelmingly encourages today’s teen girls to be seductive, boy crazy and aggressive.

A recent study concluded that 75% of girls ages 15 to 19 agree that society tells girls that attracting boys and acting sexy are some of the most important things girls can do. (2)

TWO: as a result of widespread divorce and dysfunctional family relationships, girls are desperately trying to find love and, although misguided, are initiating overly-intimate, sexual relationships with boys.

Our sons need to know . . .

We must assure our sons that it is not unmanly to turn down a girl’s sexual advances. She isn’t actually after sex, anyway; she’s just using sex to try and feel loved, but in having sex, she will only become more frantic and empty.

A girl who is desperate for a guy’s attention and affection is not healthy, so the best thing to do is be kind but keep a good distance from her. Also, it is not our “Christian duty” to enter into dating relationships to try and help or heal someone. There’s no reason for our sons to feel guilty about telling a girl no.

Our daughters need to know . . .

Those of us with daughters must constantly tell them (and show them) how much we love, adore and accept them. She needs to hear that frequently from Mom and Dad. If one parent is not in the picture or is reluctant to affirm her, go to the Lord in fervent prayer and ask Him to send another loving, Christ-filled adult into her life. (In high school, my best friend’s dad was like a father to me when my biological father was out of the picture.) Also, ask God to reveal His love to her so that she will ultimately look to Christ to satisfy her soul.

Our girls need to know that in giving away their bodies to guys, they will never receive the love they are looking for. As a matter of fact, they will only be taken for granted and hurt.

The Bigger Picture

What is most needed is for our children to know the Lord and live with an awareness of His love and presence. From there, our kids need a biblical worldview of sex and relationships. Click here for helpful resources along those lines.

Prayer for our sons
Father, please help my son to recognize that girls who are coming on strong are doing so because they are hurting. Give him the grace to resist seduction and maintain good boundaries with girls. Help him understand Your glorious purpose for sex and relationships and follow that plan. Empower me, as a parent, to inspire sexual purity in him. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Prayer for our daughters
Father, please reveal to my daughter how much You love her and how invaluable she is. Protect her from this generation’s obsession with seduction and sexual deviance, and help her understand and embrace modesty. Help me, as her parent, to teach her the wisdom in Your Word regarding sexual purity and virtue. In Jesus’ name, amen.

1. Papalia, Wendkos Olds, and Duskin Feldman, A Child’s Developing World, Infancy Through Adolescence, 11th ed. (New York: McGraw-Hill Higher Education, 2008), 476.
2. Bill Albert, Wit h One Voice: America’s Adults and Teen Sound Off About Teen Pregnancy (Washington DC: National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, 2004).