Last week’s opinion poll on my website presented the question, Should a couple wait until marriage to have sex? 79% of the poll participants said yes, a couple should wait, but then again, my site tends to attract those with purity-related values. I have a feeling if I polled a more neutral group, the results would be different.

Let’s face it. Our society, as a whole, has rejected the notion that sex should be reserved for marriage. As a matter of fact, the concept of marriage is now considered old fashioned by many. The ironic thing about this is that nothing good is coming from these modern trends. Our society is plagued by unwanted pregnancies, unstable relationships, and broken families, and while our culture scoffs at sexual boundaries, we’re drowning in the consequences of having rejected them.

I have so much to say on this topic that I wrote a book about it and then wrote a companion book. I said that to say that I can’t possibly address this issue to the degree that I would like to in the form of a blog. What I can do is share a quick story that will shed light on the topic.

A few days ago, my six-year-old daughter was getting dressed for school, and she put on a shirt that has a vest sown onto it (she looked adorable – an important fact that should not be overlooked). Anyway, I noticed that the vest had become twisted on one side, so I asked my daughter to take the shirt off so I could fix it . . . and so the test of my patience and commitment to Christ-like living began!

The vest is stitched to the shirt at the shoulders and waist, so I began pulling the shirt through the vest to try and untwist it. I realize my description may be a bit confusing, but if you could have seen me, you would understand that I was turning the shirt inside out, upside down, throwing it to the floor, chunking it at the ceiling, and pulling my hair out trying to get that dang vest untwisted! My daughter offered to simply go put on a different shirt, but no way! I wasn’t going to accept defeat! Her oatmeal got lukewarm in the beeping microwave as the minutes passed while I attempted to solve the fabric Rubik’s Cube from “you-know-where.”

About the time I was tempted to shred the shirt and go buy a new one, I offered up a short but sincere prayer, “Lord, help me.” Within seconds I made an embarrassing observation. The buttons on the vest were not just attached for decoration; they were actual buttons. All I had to do was unbutton the vest, untwist the one side, and then button it again. (Let’s just say that humiliation comes in many forms.)

Believe it or not, in looking back at that silly wrestling match with a kids’ size 6 shirt, I realize that this scenario often plays out in our lives in ways that are much more serious than a twisted article of clothing. As it pertains to sex and relationships, there are myriads of young people and singles out there struggling to “untwist” dysfunctional, dead-end romantic relationships. Even though God’s plan for cultivating healthy, lasting love relationships with the opposite sex is plainly explained in the Bible, we often ignore His wisdom and continue to battle our way through relationships doing things our way rather than God’s way (this, of course, includes the decision to engage in premarital sex). The unfortunate end result of ignoring God’s instructions is frustration and defeat.

The next time you face a struggle, whether it is sexual temptation, relational turmoil, or an unexpected episode of road rage, don’t forget to turn to God and seek His direction and intervention. After all, His commandments are for our own good, and following them ultimately makes life much easier and fulfilling.